Yesterday I Fell In Love

Wanna know the truth? I don’t know how I feel, but, I do know that I don’t feel for you the same way you feel for me. I don’t know if its because I like your company, or if its because I like the company; either way its still messed up- I just openly admitted that its the company that I crave. I didn’t mention your looks, or how sweet you were. Not because I don’t care– or maybe I really don’t care and I’m just trying to pretend like I do. I can’t say you have my attention all the time, because you don’t. I have enough respect for you to mention you to my past loves, but is that all it really is? Respect. I do respect you, but I do not trust you, maybe this is the reason why i cant seem to focus on you and just you. I would be lying if i say that i don’t think about other people, because I do. I would be lying if i said I loved you, because i don’t. I like you, as a friend, as maybe more. You’re amazing, but sometimes i feel like im settling. I admire you for being able to put up with all the things i throw at you, then again youre the reason why i act the way i do towards you. I can’t get past this trust topic, no matter how much i try. I guess the last time i truly gave a fuck was when we were on facetime and i cried. I don’t know how i feel about you. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS IS. I can’t reply to the way you feel about me, I can’t reply to any of that shit. You’re expecting too much from me– to many things that I just can’t do. I’m not perfect, and I’m not perfect for YOU. I’m a bitch inside, im cold hearted and mean, sometimes I really don’t give a fuck, and thats not cool…